This is a throw away account because the bride follows me on reddit and I'm still a little confused about the whole situation. I am very good friends with the bride to be, lets call her Karen for simplicity. She got engaged about 1.5 years ago and immediately asked me to be a bridesmaid which I was thrilled about (she was my maid of honor for context). To make a long story short I got some real bad news in the past year and had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy. I don't want to go into details about this because its still very traumatic for me. My hair fell out and I am recovering but my hair is still very short. I have also been very active in the survivor community and have been involved in fund raising and public speaking.Karen has been super supportive through all of this. She is a nurse and it has been nice to have someone with medical background to chat about some of this issues about this. About 2 weeks ago Karen called me and told me she was going to take me out to celebrate my remission and end of treatment and had a special surprise for me. I agree and we meet up. We go to a spa which was super nice and enjoy some skin treatments, massages, and general pampering. At the end of the day she takes me to a special hair salon which specializes in high quality wigs. I am a little taken aback by this because Karen knows that a lot of the work I have been involves psychological treatment in cancer patients and avoiding the shame associated with hair loss for instance. I politely go through the appointment and even try on some wigs although I was quite upset honestly. I politely decline when she offers to pick one out and try to forget the whole ordeal. So she calls me yesterday and tells me that I can't be in the bridal party any longer because the minister stated there are too many people in the bridal party. This completely floors me because basically I am her number 2 girl after her sister (who she barely gets a long with). I call around and it although some of the other bridesmaids are reluctant to tell me anything hint at the fact that Karen was worried about how the pictures are going to look with someone with a bald head. I was so upset, I tried to call her but she did not respond. I am thinking I am may not go to the wedding but want to make sure I am not overthinking this. Her wedding is in 2 weeks.
Update: I actually did do any update earlier but took it down because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. First of all I am flattered by the warm response I received. I was actually contacted by a few news outlets but ultimately decided I did not want to break my anonymity because I knew my friend would be outed and it would have ruined her big day. I did speak with Karen and she denied that had anything to do with my hair but based on some things she said I still think that was the reason. Her wedding is actually in a few hours. I told her that I wasn’t going to go. I did tell her that I was upset with her and that I hope one day she can look back and see that she was being selfish. Sadly she told me more or less that I was being selfish. Weddings have a funny way of turning people into... well I guess the word is bridezillas. Maybe they amount of stress and pressure is just not good for certain people. Karen is a good person I think who got caught up in herself and unfortunately it may have cost her our friendship. Even though I think she is being selfish I don’t want to hurt her or ruin her wedding day. That’s just not the kind of person I am.
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